With Love and Firmness
201
Maintain Uniform Firmness, Unimpassioned Control—
Children have sensitive, loving natures. They are easily pleased and
easily made unhappy. By gentle discipline in loving words and acts,
mothers may bind their children to their hearts. Uniform firmness and
unimpassioned control are necessary to the discipline of every family.
Say what you mean calmly, move with consideration, and carry out
what you say without deviation.
It will pay to manifest affection in your association with your
children. Do not repel them by lack of sympathy in their childish
sports, joys, and griefs. Never let a frown gather upon your brow, or a
harsh word escape your lips
Even kindness must have its limits. Authority must be sustained
by a firm severity, or it will be received by many with mockery and
contempt. The so-called tenderness, the coaxing and the indulgence
used toward youth, by parents and guardians, is the worst evil which
can come upon them. Firmness, decision, positive requirements, are
essential in every family
Remember Your Own Mistakes—Let father and mother remem-
ber that they themselves are but grown-up children. Though great
light has shone upon their pathway and they have had long experience,
yet how easily are they stirred to envy, jealousy, and evil surmisings.
Because of their own mistakes and errors they should learn to deal
gently with their erring children
You may feel annoyed sometimes because your children go con-
trary to what you have told them. But have you ever thought that many
[265]
times you go contrary to what the Lord has commanded you to do
How to Win Love and Confidence—There is danger that both
parents and teachers will command and dictate too much, while they
fail to come sufficiently into social relation with their children or
scholars. They often hold themselves too much reserved and exercise
their authority in a cold, unsympathizing manner, which cannot win
the hearts of their children and pupils. If they would gather the children
close to them, and show that they love them, and would manifest an
interest in all their efforts, and even in their sports, sometimes even
26
Testimonies For The Church 3:532
.
27
Testimonies For The Church 5:45
.
28
Manuscript 53
, Undated.
29
Manuscript 45, 1911
.