216
Child Guidance
not be overlooked—that when a desired object is so firmly denied as
to remove all hope, the mind will soon cease to long for it, and will be
occupied in other pursuits. But as long as there is any hope of gaining
the desired object, an effort will be made to obtain it....
When it is necessary for parents to give a direct command, the
penalty of disobedience should be as unvarying as are the laws of
nature. Children who are under this firm, decisive rule know that
when a thing is forbidden or denied, no teasing or artifice will secure
their object. Hence they soon learn to submit and are much happier
in so doing. The children of undecided and overindulgent parents
have a constant hope that coaxing, crying, or sullenness may gain
their object, or that they may venture to disobey without suffering the
penalty. Thus they are kept in a state of desire, hope, and uncertainty,
which makes them restless, irritable, and insubordinate. God holds
such parents guilty of wrecking the happiness of their children. This
wicked mismanagement is the key to the impenitence and irreligion
of thousands. It has proved the ruin of many who have professed the
Christian name
To Unnecessary Restrictions—When parents become old and
have young children to bring up, the father is likely to feel that the
children must follow in the sturdy, rugged path in which he himself is
traveling. It is difficult for him to realize that his children are in need
of having life made pleasant and happy for them by their parents.
[285]
Many parents deny the children an indulgence in that which is
safe and innocent, and are so afraid of encouraging them in cultivating
desires for unlawful things that they will not even allow their children
to have the enjoyment that children should have. Through fear of evil
results, they refuse permission to indulge in some simple pleasure
that would have saved the very evil they seek to avoid; and thus the
children think there is no use in expecting any favors, and therefore
will not ask for them. They steal away to the pleasures they think
will be forbidden. Confidence between parents and children is thus
destroyed
To the Denial of Reasonable Privileges—If fathers and mothers
have not themselves had a happy childhood, why should they shadow
16
The Signs of the Times, February 9, 1882
.
17
The Signs of the Times, August 27, 1912
.