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and comforted and strengthened, which would give you happiness,
peace, and true Christian enjoyment daily.
In order for this to be the case, I knew you must have clearer views
of yourself and of your duties than you had ever had hitherto in your
life. I knew that you must be a truly converted woman, and this is
the very thing you have argued against, as though no change could
take place with you—you must remain just as you were. Now this is
all a delusion. Unless a very great change shall take place with you,
unless you overcome self and selfishness, unless these peculiar traits
of character which you have cherished are overcome, you will have a
defective, spotted character which will find no place in Christ’s pure
and perfect and holy kingdom. The work is before you and me, and
all who win eternal life must overcome every fault, every error, every
defect in character.
Do you have a sense that you are selfish, that your thoughts are
allowed to center upon self? You must have things your own way,
and unless you do, you are perfectly miserable. Your husband is more
attentive to you than most men to their wives. He has done the very
things for you which you should in no case have had him do, that you
yourself could and should have done as your part of the work; but
because they were not as pleasant, not as agreeable, you have been
glad to have him do them, when it would have been for your good to
do these things for yourself. I now fear greatly for you.
Your present condition will be made by you an excuse for you to
lay your weight very heavily upon your husband. Your marked traits of
character will appear; your thoughts and sympathies will be centered
on yourself, not because in your peculiar situation you suffer more
than a large class of women, but because you think more upon the
matter; your imagination will be active, and you will forget that others
pass through the same without a complaint, without sympathy, without
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conveniences.
You have, my sister, but little self-control and do not exercise the
strong will you possess to hold in control your own thoughts and your
own feelings. You give way to your feelings when things do not go
to suit you; you have, in short, hysterics. Is this necessary? I saw it
was not, but [that] your condition utterly forbids anything of the kind.
You need to hold your feelings with a firm will and never allow these
nervous spasms to get the victory over you. You may ask, How can I