156
Daughters of God
do this? By thoughtful self-control. Your feelings fret terribly if things
do not go according to your mind. You are not thinking how much
perplexity and anxiety and distress you bring upon your husband, and
you throw your whole weight upon him as though it was your privilege
and duty, when it is the education you need to be self-sufficient and
unselfish, to look upon and regard others as well as yourself. This
lesson you must learn.
You need not have one of the spasms. You are educating yourself
[so] that they will become a fearful reality, second nature; and when
the pains of childbirth shall come, these will come upon you and the
conditions that produce them will be beyond your control. But you
can now control these conditions and need not have them any more
than I need to be thus afflicted. It rests with yourself whether you will
be a happy or unhappy woman.
You should be what God would have you—a self-reliant woman. I
tell you now in the fear of God that you must be less self-caring. You
seem to think no inconvenience or taxation must come upon you, but
many women no stronger than yourself, to whom the common duties
of domestic life are fully as distasteful as to you, bravely take up these
duties and bear them uncomplainingly because it is given them as their
work. Deeds of kindness, charity, and love to others will make you
one with Christ and take your mind from yourself.
The prejudice of education is yours, but you cannot enjoy whole-
ness of character, which is true sanctification, unless you steadily and
earnestly discipline yourself. It will not be a debasement to you to do
many things in domestic life you do not now touch. God wants you to
feel the responsibility of being a comfort and blessing to your husband
[167]
as well as to expect him to be a comfort and blessing to you.
Get your mind off yourself; be uncomplaining; be cheerful. There
is no reason you should not be cheerful, no reason gratitude should
not dwell in your heart although you are in the situation you are. It
is no disgrace to have children, and the mother by her own course of
action may determine the health and disposition of her children.
I entreat of you to hide in Jesus, to be His own true child, walking
in love and obedience to all His requirements, exemplifying in your life
the character of Jesus—tender and thoughtful of others, considering
them just as good and just as deserving as yourself of conveniences
and comforts and happiness. This you have not done. Self has been