Letters (Written May 10, 12, 16, and 17, 1876)
255
The last letters have fully decided me. I regard it the light that
I have asked for. I would have come to the Kansas meeting but felt
forbidden to start. It is all right. The Lord knows what is best for us
all
.
I have no confidence that it was your duty to go east when you
did. Had you remained, I might have accomplished much more. But I
understand all the circumstances, and have not a word of censure to
lay on you or my husband or anyone
.
I am writing frequently twenty pages a day. I have dropped
Sketches of Life.[We] have got off two more forms [of the testimony].
One more form will complete it. Mary Clough is just the same; she
[272]
works with interest and cheerfulness. She proves to be a precious help;
I don’t know how we could keep house without him. He makes bread,
just excellent pies, buns; and cooks vegetables. All that they have paid
him as yet is two dollars each week, till last two weeks, two and [a]
half. Shall pay three in two weeks more. Mary [is teaching him] to
cook. He is neat; takes care of the whole house
.
Where is Frankie Patten? Is she coming or not? Why do you not
say something about these things?
Love to all.—
Letter 67, 1876
(May 17, 1876).
The following was written to “Dear Husband,” May 16, 1876,
from Oakland, California, the same day the third letter was written to
Lucinda Hall
.
It grieves me that I have said or written anything to grieve you.
Forgive me and I will be cautious not to start any subject to annoy
and distress you. We are living in a most solemn time and we cannot
afford to have in our old age [Ellen White was 48 years of age and her
husband was 54 when this letter was written.
] differences to separate
our feelings. I may not view all things as you do, but I do not think it
would be my place or duty to try to make you see as I see and feel as I
feel. Wherein I have done this, I am sorry.
I want a humble heart, a meek and quiet spirit. Wherein my feelings
have been permitted to arise in any instance, it was wrong. Jesus has
said, “Learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find
rest unto your souls.”
Matthew 11:29
.
I wish that self should be hid in Jesus. I wish self to be crucified.
I do not claim infallibility, or even perfection of Christian character.
I am not free from mistakes and errors in my life. Had I followed