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Builders of the Home
253
heartache. Above all, make Christ your counselor. Study His word
with prayer.
Under such guidance let a young woman accept as a life com-
panion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one
who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God.
Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear
her share of life’s burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and
refine him, and who will make him happy in her love.
“A prudent wife is from the Lord.” “The heart of her husband
doth safely trust in her.... She will do him good and not evil all
the days of her life.” “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in
her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of
her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children
arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her,”
saying, “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest
them all.” He who gains such a wife “findeth a good thing, and
obtaineth favor of the Lord.”
Proverbs 19:14
;
31:11, 12, 26-29
;
18:22
.
However carefully and wisely marriage may have been entered
into, few couples are completely united when the marriage ceremony
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is performed. The real union of the two in wedlock is the work of
the after years.
As life with its burden of perplexity and care meets the newly
wedded pair, the romance with which imagination so often invests
marriage disappears. Husband and wife learn each other’s character
as it was impossible to learn it in their previous association. This is
a most critical period in their experience. The happiness and useful-
ness of their whole future life depend upon their taking a right course
now. Often they discern in each other unsuspected weaknesses and
defects; but the hearts that love has united will discern excellencies
also heretofore unknown. Let all seek to discover the excellencies
rather than the defects. Often it is our own attitude, the atmosphere
that surrounds ourselves, which determines what will be revealed
to us in another. There are many who regard the expression of love
as a weakness, and they maintain a reserve that repels others. This
spirit checks the current of sympathy. As the social and generous
impulses are repressed, they wither, and the heart becomes desolate
and cold. We should beware of this error. Love cannot long exist