16
Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce
upon, expose yourselves to criticism and demand that censure should
be passed upon your course.
This courtship and marriage is the most difficult to manage, be-
cause the mind becomes so bewildered and enchanted that duty to God
and everything else becomes tame and uninteresting, and calm and
mature thought is the last thing to be exercised in this matter of the
gravest importance. Dear youth, I speak to you as one who knows.
Wait till you have some just knowledge of yourself and of the world, of
the bearing and character of young women, before you let the subject
of marriage possess your thoughts.
After the Honeymoon—I could cite you many who are now
mourning over their extreme folly and madness in their marriage, when
mourning will avail them nothing. They find themselves exposed to
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temptations they never dreamed of; they find traits of character in
the object of their choice above which they cannot elevate them, and
therefore they accept the inevitable and come to their level. Nellie A
will never elevate you. She has not in her the hidden powers which,
developed, would make a woman of judgment and ability to stand by
your side, to help you in the battles of life. She lacks force of character.
She has not depth of thought and compass of mind that will be a help
to you. You see the surface and it is all there is. In a little while, should
you marry, the charm would be broken. The novelty of the married
life having ceased, you will see things in their real light, and find out
you have made a sad mistake.
Need of Mature Judgment—Maturity of judgment will give you
much better discernment and power of discrimination to know the
truth. Your character needs forming, your judgment needs strength
before you entertain the thought of marriage. You are not now pre-
pared to judge of another, and do not be betrayed into committing a
grievous indiscretion, if not crime, for which the bitter regrets and
tears of afterlife will bring no relief. The child, the mere undisciplined
immature schoolgirl, the Miss, dependent upon the discretion of par-
ents and guardians, has no reason to listen to anything like courtship
or marriage. She should decline all special attentions which would
have the least likelihood to lead to any such results, and devote herself
intently to making herself as perfect a woman as possible, that her life
may be useful, and learn a trade that she will have employment and be
independent.