Letters (Written May 10, 12, 16, and 17, 1876)
253
feel called upon to write me, to make no reference to them. Please take
the same cautions yourself. When you wish to make these statements
in reference to your own son, please lay down your pen and stop just
there. I think God would be better pleased, and it would do no harm
to your own soul. Leave me to be guided by the Lord in reference to
Edson, for I still trust in His guiding hand and have confidence He will
lead me. The same guiding hand is my trust.”
He has felt called upon to press upon me the danger of being drawn
in by Edson and deceived by him. He has felt called upon to write in
regard to my danger of being deceived by Sister Willis, in regard to
my being called to Petaluma, et cetera. I hope [that] when my husband
left he did not take God with him and leave us to walk by the light of
our own eyes and the wisdom of our own hearts
.
In his last [letter] he repeats [that] he does not want me to make
any references to what he writes till “you see things differently. And
be assured of this, that none of these things sink me down a hair. I shall
[270]
be happy to meet you and Mary at the Kansas camp meeting provided
that, with the exception of a direct revelation from God, you put me on
a level with yourself. I will gladly come to that position and labor with
you, but while entrusted with the supervision of the whole work I think
it wrong to be second to the private opinions of anyone. The moment
I come to this I can be turned by the will of others’ infallibility. When
I cannot take this position I can gracefully cast off responsibilities. I
shall have no more controversies with my dear wife. She may call
it a ‘mouse or a bat’ and have her own way. If she doesn’t like my
position in reference to Edson or other matters, will she please [keep]
her opinion to herself and let me enjoy mine? Your remarks called me
out. And now that you cannot endure my speaking as plainly as you
do, I have done
.
“As to your coming to Kansas, I am not the least anxious. Judging
from what I can gather from that last page, I think we can better labor
apart than together until you can lay down your continual efforts to
hold me in condemnation. When you have a message from the Lord
for me, I hope I shall be where I shall tremble at His word. But aside
from that, you must let me be an equal, or we had better work alone
.
“Don’t be anxious about my dwelling on disagreeables any more.
I have them in my heart. But while on the stage of action I shall use
the good old head God gave me until He reveals that I am wrong. Your